Ding Dong
by lobsters4ever1
Summary: My entry for the Trust in Advertising crackfic contest.


**"Ding Dong"**

**Trust in Advertising CrackFic Contest**

**by: lobsters1128 (aka lobsters4ever)**

Bella quietly worked at her desk, while she finished responding to her e-mails, verifying her schedule and confirming appointments for the week. She spun in her chair as she thought about her life all its' recent changes. She sighed, as she rose from her chair and walked to the window gazing out onto the street below. She thought about the past six weeks since accepting her promotion. She smiled as she reminisced about how busy she had been wearing two hats at work, assistant and trainee. She was exhausted from being Edward's assistant in the morning and his student in the afternoon. And yet she would give this up for anything.

_Six weeks_.

Six weeks of heaven. Six weeks of continually working for and now by Edward. She realized early on that her attraction to Edward would only grow. And it has. She admired his brilliance and perservance. She respected his drive and work ethics. She was awed by his determination and charm. Edward was such a patient and brilliant instructor. As Bella visualized Edward as a professor, she quickly shook her head and rid her mind of _those_ images that threatened to take it over. Bella couldn't get enough of him and feared that if she allowed herself, she could and would fall for him ….hard. She still felt her skin tingle whenever he would brush up against her. When Edward would speak her name or smile at Bella, she felt the too familiar feeling in her stomach. It tormented her and yet she couldn't give it up. Bella smiled and shook her head as she recalled the numerous thoughts she had regarding Edward and his desk. Her vivid fantasizes had gotten so bad that she stopped wearing skirts or dresses for fear of actually giving into her desires, with Edward, in his office, on his desk……. Bella sighed and shook her head again. She wondered if there were a patch she could get to help with her obsession.

Six weeks of hell. She felt so close but so far away. Edward continued to put up walls and keep her at an arm's length. He would be distant and distracted. She pondered what plagued him and made him keep his distance. At times, she could feel him pull away. Also, Bella realized the reason for the majority of her hell was in the embodiment of Jane. Ugh, Jane. She continued to be the proverbial thorn in Bella's side. Jane's rants were routine. Her snide comments and her glares were regular occurrences. She was vile but brilliant. Since her last rampage was overheard by Edward, Jane became more discreet in her vicious insults -- waiting until he was out of the office or preoccupied on the phone. Bella was still perplexed as to why Edward and Jane were still together. Edward often groaned when she called, or ignored her calls and rarely seemed happy to see Jane. As Bella pondered trying to come up with a logical explanation, as her thoughts were interrupted.

"Bella, Bella, Bellllaa!" Bella heard Leah yelling from down the hall as she ran into her office.

"Bella, turn on CNN. NOW!" Leah screeched.

"Ok, ok, Leah." Bella reached for the remote on her desk and turned the flat screen TV that hung on the opposite wall. As she searched for the correct channel, Bella could hear Emmett barreling down the hallway.

"I'm here. That is _still_ a long run. What is so damn important Leah that I had to run down here?" Emmett bent over with his hands on his knees while he attempted to catch his breath.

"Just watch. I just saw this on the internet" Leah responded. "You are _not_ going to believe this."

Bella found the right station and saw Anderson Cooper sitting behind his desk. Anderson looked distinguished as he wore a crisp blue button down shirt, black tie and a black jacket. Bella admired him as his brilliant blue eyes sparkled in the camera.

"He is so cute."

Bella nodded, "Yes, he is. He like a fine wine. He just gets better each year." Leah nodded vigorously in agreement.

"Ladies, please I can't hear." Emmett whined.

Leah and Bella exchanged glances and tried desperately to silence their giggles.

Anderson continued talking, "We are going live to CNN correspondent Holden Migrone. He is outside the Hostess factory in Chicago. Holden, can you hear me?"

As Holden appeared on screen, Bella was impressed with his appearance too. He was a 3o-something year old man. He was dressed impeccable too with a charcoal grey suit, white shirt and dark blue tie. Leah tapped Bella's arm. When Bella looked at Leah, she motioned to the screen and mouthed, "Wow". Bella smiled and agreed with Leah's assessment.

"Yes, Anderson. I am live in Chicago outside the Hostess factory. This particular factory is where the world famous Twinkies are made. Earlier today, we received word that there has been a tragic accident here and small bits of information are coming through now"

"What we have been told so far is that a tour of models was here today. These were various supermodels who have been working with a variety of companies in the food industry to gain better understanding about their companies. And, more importantly, what these companies can do to develop healthier foods for its consumers."

Leah nudged Bella and whispered, "Do models even eat Twinkies?"

Bella shrugged. "I have no idea. I am sure Jane didn't."

"Jane, ha, she was on a strict diet. She could only eat the souls of innocent children … and air. Anything else would have made her violently ill." Emmett explained.

Bella and Leah, again, fought to keep the laughter down so that they could hear the rest of the report.

"As you reported earlier," Holden continued. "As the models toured the factory, there was an accident on a walkway. Apparently, one of the slats was missing from the walkway and a model fell through the opening."

"Holden, do you know how big an opening was in the walkway? Was there only one slat missing?"

"Yes, Anderson. The information that we have received it that only one slat was missing. Leaving an opening in the walkway of about nine to twelve inches." Holden gestured with his hands giving the audience an approximate measurement.

"That isn't very much room. How could someone, an adult, have fallen through it?"

Holden shook his head. "It is still unclear at this time how that could have happened. But we are being told that someone did, in fact, fall through the walkway while on a tour of this factory and plummeted into a vat of Twinkie batter."

"That is incredible, Holden. Have you had a chance to speak to anyone who was on the tour with the victim? Any of the witnesses?" Anderson questioned.

Holden quickly replied, "No, I haven't. Emergency crews were immediately called. They arrived on the scene within minutes. The police were then called and arrived later."

"Do you have any information on who the victim was?"

"At this time, no."

"Is there any idea who was on the tour today? How many models?" Anderson continued to question.

"At this time they are not releasing any of the names of the tour." Holden turned toward the groups of reporters gathered near the entrance of the company. He turned back towards the camera and quickly stated, "We have just received word that the victim did not survive the fall but that has yet to be confirmed."

"Oh no." Bella gasped. "That is terrible."

"What is terrible, Bella?" Esme asked at she entered the office.

Leah turned towards Esme, "There was a tour, of supermodels…."

Esme interrupted, "Supermodels?"

Leah shrugged, "Yeah, I know, weird huh? Anyway they were at the Twinkie plant in Chicago and one of them fell through a missing slat in the walkway and fell into a vat of batter. Hey Bella, wasn't Witch Jane in Chicago?"

Bella looked at Leah confused, "Witch Jane?"

"Umm, yeah, it is sorta a name that, um, we came up with to help me tolerate when she comes in the office. That and I hear the 'Wicked Witch of the West' theme when she walks in." Leah explained.

Bella laughed, "Honestly, I don't know. I know that she is out of town but I can't remember where she said she was going to be."

"What, you didn't write it down and commit her schedule to memory?" Leah gasped loudly as she feigned being shocked.

"Uh, no. Usually I don't even listen to what she is saying anymore. I have gotten pretty good at it." Bella shrugged nonchantly. "When Jane starts talking or screeching about something, all I hear now is white noise. It is quite pleasant actually."

Esme threw her head back and laughed loudly. "White noise, that's great. You need to teach me how to do that."

"Fall in a vat of batter," Emmett mummered, "how the hell does someone do that? How do you not see the opening and why wouldn't you just step over it? And more importantly, who could it have been?"

"I don't know many models, besides Jane who else is there?" Bella wondered.

"Jane, geesh, you are kidding me right Bella? Who else?" Emmett shook his head disgustingly. "Well, there's Gisele."

"Wait, isn't Gisele pregnant?"

"Maybe, who knows?" Emmett pondered, "Well with models, it depends …..now, if we go with more recent supermodels, there are Karolina or Adriana or Eva and then there are the classics, like Elle or Heidi or Tyra or Kate or Claudia or Naomi or…."

"Enough Emmett! We get it; you know way too familiar with models and their names. I wonder what Rose would think about that." Bella mused.

Emmett's eyes widened at her statement and then he narrowed them at Bella. She grinned at his attempted menacing glare.

"Are we sure it was just a group of female supermodels? Maybe there were some very ruggedly, delicious male models there too." Leah suggested as she wiggled her eyebrows.

Bella snorted, "Yeah we wouldn't want to lose any male models."

Leah quickly went over to Bella's computer and pulled up various pictures of male models. When she found what she was looking for she motioned for Esme and Bella to look. "Ladies, I give you exhibit A, Tyson Beckford. Mmmmmmm, I don't know about you but the world would be a less happy place without his perfection in it." Leah sighed as she gazed longingly at his pictures. Bella started at his picture and eagerly agreed.

"Oh honey, he is nice but you really want to see perfection look up Marcus Schenkenberg. _That_ is what makes my world spin." Esme declared. Leah quickly typed in his name and loudly gasped when his picture appeared.

"Good lord!"

Bella nudged Leah quickly out of the way. "Oh my! Esme, I think that we _really_ need to work with him … soon! What ad could we use him for?" She asked as she turned towards Esme and pleaded with her eyes.

"Actually, I have worked with Marcus before. It was on an ad for Barneys years ago. He was just too beautiful to look at. It is like looking at the sun, you can only do it for a few seconds before it hurts your eyes."

"What is he like?"

"Can I get his number?"

"Is he single?"

"Is he gay?"

Bella and Leah asked at the same time and laughed as they realized what they did. Emmett watched their ogling with amusement. Finally, he cleared his throat. All three turned, surprised that Emmett was still there and embarrassed by their blatant ogling.

"Oh ladies, I don't know why you are looking elsewhere for perfection. I _am_ standing right here." Emmett grinned and then pursed his lips in a pucker and widened his eyes.

"Oh no ….tell me you are not…not try ….trying to do the Magnum from 'Zoolander', Emmett?" Bella got out between her laughs.

He shrugged nonchantly, "I make it look good! BUT, I hate to interrupt your, eh, visual appreciation time but it looks like they are going to have a news conference or something about the model/Twinkie situation." He motioned to the TV where Holden was talking and there were three men standing at a podium.

As they turned their attention back CNN, Bella turned the volume up and listened to Holden as he announced, "Anderson, a spokesman for Hostess will begin with a statement regarding the accident and victim now."

Holden turned around and focused his attention to the three men. Bella noticed that these were clearly men of authority. The first man had dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He wore a power suit but what amused Bella the most was that he was wearing a tie with Twinkie the Kid on it. The man to his right was slightly shorter than him. He has salt and pepper hair and a mustache. He was in a police uniform and she could tell by his uniform and stature that he was higher up the chain of command with the department. Bella was reminded of Charlie as she gazed upon the officer. She took a deep breath and fought back her tears and the memories of her dad and how he looked in his uniform. The man on his left was slightly taller, with lighter brown hair and blue eyes. He wore the classic doctor white lab coat.

The man in the power suit began to speak. "Good afternoon. My name is Riley Crawford. I, Dr Jones and Officer Martin each have a brief statement. We will not be taking any questions afterwards. This morning at approximately 10:37am while on a tour of our facilities one of the members of the tour fell off a walkway. This person fell about 20 feet into a vat of Twinkie batter. Our safety crew immediately arrived to the area, 911 were called and emergency crews were dispatched. Our team, alongside, Chicago's Fire Department worked to retrieve the victim. After about 18 minutes, the victim's body was recovered and pulled out of the vat. EMT immediately began CPR and rushed the victim to Mercy Hospital and Medical Center. Dr Garrett Jones from Mercy Hospital is here explaining what happened next."

"EMT crews arrived to our ER at approximately 11:03 am with the victim. Our ER team worked diligently to resuscitate the victim but we were unable to get the victim's heart beating or their breath sustained. The victim was pronounced dead at 11:12am." Dr Jones concluded and looked at the police officer to continue.

As the police officer approached the podium, he cleared his throat, "My name is Deputy Chief Alex Martin. This fatality has been ruled an accident at this time and is currently under investigation. The victim's next of kin has been contacted. The victim of today's fatal accident was Jane Wakowski. She is known worldwide as the supermodel, Jane."

A collective gasp could be heard through the television and in the office as the four watched. Each glanced at the others and saw the same reflection of shock on their faces and returned their attention to the screen as they saw Jane's picture appear.

Riley approached the podium and concluded, "That is all we have at this time. Thank you." Reporters could be heard in the background yelling questions at the trio.

The silence in the office was deafening until ….

"OH"

"MY"

"FUCK!"

Three heads turned quickly in shock at Esme. She grimaced, "Sorry but I know that God never had a hand in that woman's life. I am sure he wants to stay clear of any involvement in her death too."

"I can't believe this. Jane is dead."

Bella attention was drawn towards the broadcast as Holden spoke. "As we just learned, the supermodel Jane was at the Hostess factory today for a tour. During the tour, she fell off the walkway and into a vat of Twinkie batter. Emergency crews responded and she was taken to Mercy Hospital. Attempts to revive Jane were unsuccessful and she was pronounced dead at 11:12 this morning. At this time, we don't know if earlier reports that she fell through the missing slat in the walkway are true or not." Holden looked down at his notes as pictures of Jane were shown on the screen.

"Jane started her modeling career at 17. She graced the covers of Vogue and Cosmopolitan and worked the runways of Paris and Milan. For several years, she was a highly sought after model but recently her back stage antics, diva attitude and lack of professionalism has hindered her career. She has linked romantically to a Who's who of Hollywood and most recently to Ad Exec Edward Cullen." As Holden concluded this statement, a photo of Edward and Jane, from the gala months ago appeared on the TV. Bella felt her chest clench and stomach twist seeing them together.

Anderson interrupted Bella's downward spiral and asked, "Holden, what do we know about her family?"

"What we know is that Jane was the only child from the bizarre relationship of Polish businessman and entrepreneur, SáTan Wakowski and supermodel, Janice Dickinson. They had a brief affair which resulted in Jane."

"What! Janice Dickinson was Jane's mom? Did anyone know this?"

As she looked at the others, they all shook their heads. Leah replied, "I couldn't imagine anyone giving birth to her. I thought she crawled out from under a rock or was brought here by the devil."

"Be nice Leah, she's dead."

"I know, I know. She was not a pleasant person, Bella. She was vile and cruel. She was mean to anyone, even children. She made everyone and I do mean everyone's lives hell. Oh, whatever will I do with myself, now that I won't have her bitching at me when she comes into the office? And how much more time will I have on my hands, now that I won't have to hide to avoid her demands." Leah quickly turned and looked at Esme remorsefully. "Um, not that I didn't do my work. I just, uh…."

Esme smiled and waved her hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it. I went out of my way to avoid her too."

Bella turned away from the group and vaguely heard their discussion behind her. She felt as if her head would explode as she tried to understand what just happened. Jane was dead. Dead. She couldn't believe it. She was not a fan of Jane's by any means but to have lost her life at such a young age. Bella visibly shivered at the thought. She wondered what Jane's death would mean for Edward. "Edward," she whispered. She turned towards the others and stated, "Someone needs to notify Edward and let him know about Jane."

Emmett shook his head and guffawed, "Not me. There is no way that I would be able to do it."

"Are you really _that_ upset?"

"Upset? Hell no! The only thing that I am mad about is that she just couldn't die and go away. Noooo, Jane," he sneered," had to ruin an entire vat of Twinkie batter. I freaking love Twinkies and she ruined some. Hell, right now, Twinkie the Kid is my hero."

Esme walked over to Bella, reached out for her hands, and looked her in the eyes, "I'll tell him."

"Thanks Esme."

"Well ladies, this has been one hell of a morning but I need to head back to my office and do some work. Right Esme?" She nodded.

Emmett walked over to Bella, bent over and whispered, "Everything will be alright. Just be patient a little longer. There isn't anything or anyone standing in the way now." Bella looked at Emmett stunned. He flashed his adorable smile, winked and turned towards Leah, held out his arm to her, "Leah, I am really craving a Twinkie. Would you like to join me?"

"Twinkies sound delicious right about now. I would love one, maybe even a box in celebration, eh; I mean memory of Jane's life."

Bella watched as the two walked out of the office, arms linked, discussing the goodness of cream-filled sponge cakes. Esme turned to Bella, "What time should his meeting end?"

"12:30"

"I will call him now. Let me know if you need anything." She rubbed Bella's arms before she exited the room.

Bella walked back over to the windows. As she looked out on the city below, she couldn't help but wonder what Jane's death meant for her now. How would Edward handle it? And more importantly, what did this mean for them, Edward and Bella. She sighed, again. Bella had a feeling that even in death Jane could prevent her from getting what she wanted most ….. Edward.

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::shrugs::  
Well, there it is -- hope it made you giggle!

Now, come on peeps, click that button and let me know what you think!

Reviews are better than Twinkies!!! ;)


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